Getting Married US Style

Once the decision was made to get married it seemed pointless to wait the week required in Ohio like you would if you wanted to purchase a gun. Marriage was nothing like that, well, for us anyway. And 174 mile drive to Kentucky seemed perfectly reasonable.

Kentucky'ians were more Liberal in that direction and required no waiting period, for marriage anyway.

So, it was with some trepidation we set off southward in the future in-laws Cadillac to tie the know.

Being a recent arrival in the USA, Kentucky gave me the visual of the Burt Reynods film  "Deliverance"

Duelling banjo's and everything 

An Accent.

"Good morning" I said to the young girl behind the counter. "I am here to check your scales, could you tell me where they are?" "Yes" she replied. "What sort of tree was it?"
 OK, I admit, I was in dark and deep Ohio, probably 1 mile from civilisation, But I was speaking English, London English admittedly, but English never the less.
 I had had trouble with the word "scales" before, and working for a company that repaired, installed, built and serviced scales, it was a problem. After approximately a week of trouble with it I discovered its best to preface the word with another word. IE "Truck Scale" or "Counting Scale" with quite a bit of success.
Then of course I would forget and get the response above. (Although the "What tree" response was unique. Normally it would be a "Huh?" or a lot of "Where Y'all from?") It took some "splaining"  to the girl behind the counter, but she was young and and fascinated by my accent.

My other adventures into American Language problems come from "Drive Thru" restaurants. McDonald's works well on most occasions, but I run into "Please pull round" when I ask for something on the menu and add a comment after, you know something complimentary or something funny maybe.
(Something funny to me and something funny to my wife are not the same thing, My son also dreads it when we pull into a drive thru, He can hardly wait to get his driving permit so he can order stuff).

 I have to admit I did on occasion put on the London accent a little for fun and sometimes use a phrase that confuses people. "Don't spare the horses" was and is, a favourite of mine.(This is originally a reference to horses pulling a carriage as in don't worry about the horses pain when your whipping them to go faster, also horsepower and use all the power you have to gain speed) Meaning "I'm in a hurry, could you please rush my order through" I always get the response: "Pull round please sir"
I do intend to "over describe" at drive through which also drives the wife and kid up the walll.
Instead of "Add bacon" I say "Would you please throw on some bacon on that sausage biscuit" adding sarcastically "Not too much, I don't want to actually taste it"  Always, always gets a deathly silence as they wonder how to be nice and not insult me back, and bless them all, they come through with flying colours every time. Thank you McDonald's, you done good.

Working in the USA for and as Mr Joe Average

Sounded simple enough to me, Move to America, Marry a beautiful woman, get a job. The first two were the seemingly hardest part of the trio, when in fact is was part three that was not so much as hard but more weird than anything. So, this was easy, scan the local newspapers, get an interview, start work.  Coca Cola was the first company to let me know they were interested. ( I must point out here, that I am a working class lad from South London, enjoyed many jobs from 16 thru 50 . So, I wasn't career orientated, not by a long shot)

 Now, Coca Cola's offer involved filling soda/pop or Coca Cola machines and stocking up convenience stores with their drink, It wasn't all that appealing although the pay was good and it had "Great Benefits" (A phrase they was to dominate my life for a while). I rejected it for a lesser paid job, a job I thought suited my skills, Repairing and installing scales all over mid Ohio. From truck scales down to counting scales, with items that weighed less than a gram. That was more my type of job and although the benefits were less than Coca Cola, I wasn't worried, who needed free Coke anyway? Well, as it turned out, free Coke was not a benefit. Benefits here in the US refer to health benefits, as in health insurance payments, Payments that you, need to pay part of or most of or all, to cover yourself in case of a "doctors visit" or worse, Emergency room in a hospital. ( I could turn your hair grey with tales from there) At the Doctors (If your lucky enough to find one that takes new patients) they have what is called a "Co Pay" this is part payment from yourself, the insurance pays the rest, Normally around $25 per visit. If you need a prescription, Hope the insurance pays part of that also. Sometimes a generic med works well, sometimes it doesn't. It all costs though.

Anyway, go for good benefits, even if your in very good health. Some people here are in debt to a hospital for the rest of their lives with just one visit Big, Big money to be earned here in the health industry.

Lunch breaks are pretty much across the board half an hour a day. You are entitled to take a small break in the morning and in the afternoon, but I have yet to see anyone take it. My type of job is paid hourly, salaried jobs are few and far between. If you get fired from a job or if you get laid off or indeed if you leave a job, You leave right away, that moment, instantly, your gone, Bam! your history.
This I believe is for lower level jobs, not management, they get real benefits like a month pay or even several month pay, nice work if you can get it!

I have had a few jobs here over the last 10 years, (I shall blog about all of them)And I can honestly say that the people I have worked with are the absolute salt of the Earth, Its worth the aggravation  with management just to mingle and get to know working class people here. I cant fault a single one. An experience I would never want to miss out on. American people, Got to love em.

I know a couple of guys who moved thousands of miles for a better and well paid job, Uproot everything, house, friends, everything. Only to find out the job they were going to start at on a Monday morning wasnt there. "Oh, Someone beat you to it, sorry" The moral here is pretty obvious so I wont even say it..... Yes, I will...Benefits, Benefits, Benefits